wow...Lost... Agape....
never really knew what that was.
Had heard about it but was still too close
from having left RSE.
I will look more into the idea.

I think one of the most memorable times I had at the ranch was about 2 years ago.
AS a staff person, I was asked to be an archery leader(mind you-I had chosen to give up work hours, meaning less pay that week, but I saw it as an oppourtunity).

Well, I had a very very diverse group of people. 2 foreigners, 1 85 yr old lady,
Karreem (who had just come back to RSE), and a few others.
Michele Marie was coaching a group to my left.
Since I had played sports all my life and was team captain, and my dad had been my coach most of my life, I have some idea of team play.
So, we were doing archery for the second day in my group . The students should have been experienced enough to load the arrow, etc without help blindfolded.
But the elderly lady was really struggling.
I talked minimally in her ear, only to have Michele Marie tell me very arrogantly and sternly ," You can't do it that way!!!" And she trotted off in the
'I have been upper staff alot longer than you have been around' way.
I just muttered under my breath, "I will do it the way I want." I still had a bit of fear from that look, but I endeavored to ignore it.
The next day, the elderly lady gets back on the stand.
By now, it were highly suggested to not assist students.
But I could REALLY see, that this was not doing this woman any good for her self esteem or frustration level.
So, with the team already having shot their rounds, here comes Elizabeth.
Oh, she was nervous!!!
She gets the arrow loaded, pulls back the 15 lb bow I had sorted out for her from the children's archery equipment, and she let's it fly...only to have it land on her stantion.
I come up to her, hand her the arrow, say in her ear, "you are doing GREAT!"
She loads it again.
Plop!
I leave it alone. It is about 4" in front of her stantion.
She finally gets the last arrow loaded, pulls back with all her might....
It flies like 10 feet directly in front of her.
I let out a whoop and start cheering my team and Elizabeth on!
Every one is looking in our direction.
"What??!! Did someone hit a bull's eye?"
I say proudly, our group still applauding,
"She accomplished more than you will know!"
And we all escorted Elizabeth out to retrieve her covetted arrow!


Every time after that, Karreem has said."Hey Coach!" and holds his head high in uptmost respect.

For THAT experience, I am grateful.

There are shining moments to look back on too? Excellent...hold that thought.
Sad that in struggling to move away from a "school" like that, every aspect of the experience becomes tarnished. Take what is good, and let the rest go, when you are ready.
My thoughts on reading your post - that there is still much that is healthy in you;
that no matter where we find ourselves, there are always people like, Ellen Marie, was it? who's ego requires that other people do less well, but do it their way...;
That there are good and bad eggs in every group;
That ultimately, we are here to learn, so no life experience is a waste of time...not saying, it's okay if you were deceived, or that it should all be smiles and handshakes and bygones - just saying that, for what it's worth, there are some good experiences to be had even in the weirdest places, and if we can hold on to those and discard what does not serve us, we have gained.