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about the real and potential dangers for my 4yo daughter who is forced into RSE and CSE by her mum
any help is appreciated
You are in a very difficult position,
Perhaps you can insist that your child does not participate in the so called “disciplines” at CSE, tread carefully though..
as the divisional nature of RSE will break up your family,
This is the greatest risk to your child.
Wrap them both in your love…
What parents need to know about cults
by Marcia R. Rudin
[This article is from PTA Today, November 1989.]
What Can Parents Do?
Parents can do many things to help prevent their children from joining a cult.
Keep the lines of communication with your children open. Stay in touch with what's happening in their lives during their difficult transition period to becoming independent adults.
Cult recruiters prey on youngsters' insecurities. Build up your child's self-esteem.
Help your children deal with the complexities of life. Cult recruiters offer "instant answers" and "instant happiness." Youngsters must learn that life is not simple, and they must learn to cope with change and stress.
Many youngsters search for meaning and spiritual fulfillment. They may turn to cults which appear to offer this enrichment. Take their searching seriously. Help them find meaning in their lives and spiritual fulfillment within your religious or philosophical traditions.
Cults offer children a community and sense of belonging. Help your youngsters find group activites and companionship. Encourage them to join your church or synagogue youth group or other organized and constructive group activities.
Don't pressure them too much to be "successful." Children are often overwhelmed by parents' and schools' demands, and cults offer an easy way off the treadmill of stress and pressure. Help them to deal with the normal stress of living in our complicated world.
Assure them often of your love and support. Parents often assume their children know they love them, but that's not always the case. Tell them frequently that you love them. Cults offer love and companionship. Youngsters often feel lonely, and cults prey on this.
At the same time, assert your authority as a parent. Many children turn to cults because they provide guidance, structure and authority that make them feel secure.
Encourage critical thinking so they can rationally assess cult recruiters' claims.
Look for warning signs of cult involvement, such as the following: a sudden change in grades or study habits, a sudden change in personality; changes in physical appearance or health; sudden increase in talking about God or spiritual concerns; an increase in secretiveness: and changes in friends and social interactions. Ask teachers and counselors in your school to watch for and to keep you informed of any changes in these areas.
Seek help if you feel it is necessary. See the box listing resources for guidance to mental health professionals who are aware of cult recruitment and mind-manipulation techniques.
How to work with schools
Parents must urge schools to train their administrators, teachers and counselors to recognize the signs of a cult-impacted child and to handle the situation with care. The process and effects of mind- or behavioral-control are unique and can defy traditional psychiatric treatment. Parents should urge their schools to prepare counselors to learn about and work with this unique and frightening phenomenon and to find out about available resources for help.
Parents should convince schools to sponsor programs on teen involvement in Satanism in order to train school staff and parents to recognize danger signs. These programs can be held in conjunction with school guards and local law enforcement personnel.
Finally, parents must urge their schools to hold preventive cult-education programs for their staffs and for the children, even at the elementary school level. Some parents might consider cults and their abuses as unpleasant topics for young children, but so are other subjects that must be dealt with, such as teenage pregnancies, drug and alcohol abuse and AIDS.
Marcia R. Rudin is director of International Cult Education Program (ICEP).
This was my experience.
When I first started attending RSE, children were only allowed to attend at age 6. I gave my son , at all times, whether to attend or not.
(His other parent was a bit more vociferous and much more of a fanatic).
He went to RSE from age 6-12.
At age 12, he decided it wasn't for him,
and at 13 1/2 , he saw that is was a load
He always allowed me MY beliefs, and I always allowed his beliefs.
I must say though, now, that he is 20,
he is ever so thankful that I am out, and feels very concerned about the other parent still in (as he has seen what I have gone through in cooming out).
He is a free thinker (but I have always encouraged that), he has never read fairy tales of any kind, nor the Bible.
He is a very kind, gentle, loving, allowing person.
Keep even as a parent.
Allow the child choices-they usually know what is best (in most cases-in serious matters, not if they are not required to eat their greens for dinner ).
What will happen in the overall end, and by the time the son/duaghter is a teenager, he/she will smell that bad smell a mile away.
I never allowed him to attend CSE because 1) they were not organized 2) too many power struggles among the powers that be 3) mis interpretation of "the teachings" on the part of some teachers.
I sent him to the Olympia Waldorf school
until he out grew that.
He went to public school grades 5- 6
(because the principle and teacher were
very disciplined and respectful), then I home schooled him until his choice to want to try the public high school.
After the novelty wore off about the socialization, he barely tolerated it because the children were so 1) loud 2) disrespectful. We were very blessed with the best counselor at Yelm High School-not a paper pusher, but a genuine person who took each students' uniqueness into consideration.
Keep balanced, and good luck.
I've not had to deal with the issue of CSE, obviously, but I made certain my children did not grow up with the same strict religious upbringing that I did. We are a multi-cultural household, and due to this, I had to open my mind to other ways of 'believing' and 'being.' We exposed our children to all we could in this manner, and many of their friends were from so many various backgrounds due to a non-sectarian private school which was more akin to a 'mini UN.' The children didn't even notice the different colors of skin, which was beautiful. We continued to expose them to the different beliefs by nature of their attending a school where so very many different belief systems were held by parents who were tolerant of all. My children were given this exposure in the hope they would grow up tolerating ALL, with basic rules of respect, etc. They are now young adults and are stymied when approached with stories of problems regarding their friends having difficulties with SO's due to 'beliefs.'
My experience was good in this manner and my husband and I both agreed this was the best way for us. We just exposed them to ALL we could in the manner of cultures and belief systems. I hope this helps, for CSE, I do not think, does this.
We're all in this world together.
I know of a woman who became pregnant and the father attended RSE. They did not marry and after the child was born the woman went to court to prevent the father from having access to the child because he was in a cult - RSE.
The judge ruled in favor of the mother initially but after a few years the father's attorney made some progress and he was allowed to have the child every other week-end.
Well, following up on my previous request, I am just working to give to my daughter alternatives to RSE: she is totally immersed in it because of her mum that goes to every single event at RSE with her (except BC because children are not allowed), has her house always filled only with people from RSE, lives very close to RSE, and brings our daughter to CSE, even if I do not agree with any of this (especially CSE). There are no other points of view and so no other choices for this 4yo child other than RSE's!....this is the main danger, and if I don't do something about this, it is going to remain like this at least until she is 18yo, at which point it may be too late...
I know there was at least one woman part of RSE who lost custody of her child because of being part of RSE. I unfortunately don't know her name to get more information about this: does anyone know her or knows a case similar to this?
This is to help a 4yo girl to have more freedom than what RSE offers (without considering all the other dangers and negative aspects...)
I posted on the other thread.
I am not sure how helpful Louise St Onge will be because she still attends RSE. But I do know she had some legal issues with her son, and her ex who lived out of state.
(Louise writes for The Master's Connection).