I am starting a new thread, 'Point Forward' (as opposed to 'point zero' ones which involve R or anything 'he' said). I am interested in posts, shares from people of what they use/used as new guideposts out of this forest. How to's of avoiding triggers yet renewing enjoyment of activities with possible previous associations. Answering the Question: How in your life did you 'Go back to the Future' in your recovery, pause phase? (reference to the movie where M.J. Fox goes back to the past to change his future. Or put another way, view this thread as Heloise's 'How To Clean Anything' book, but focused on old belief systems... Leading us to Point Forward!!!!

so I will get us started - I am finding it interesting to read posts and know from my own current experience that 'filling the emptiness' left by the evacuation of the previous beliefs seems to be an energy consuming activity.

So I see myself with renewed interest in my previous Path, trying to figure out where I detoured on my journey. What spiritual horse am I going to ride next. Again, busy, busy not just letting the emptiness be, the formless God in me come forth. so interesting! I even went to a weekend seminar on a spiritual path I never explored before. And I am very concerned about the spiritual materialism of 'The Secret' and other get-what-you-want proponents, cause, well... I guess you know why.

The observation is, I am trying to fill this space! I am not so comfortable with just floating my boat; seems that I want/need to be in a flotilla!! (and I am an independent loner type, mind you). AND I see other posts that, in their own way, are filling the Gap! So whats this all about? Is this the human condition? Does the monkey mind really need all those bananas?? How can I put him on a diet, so that I have that clean, expansive open spacious sense of well being, like maybe a hour or so each day? yes, yes, I can meditate, but.. that takes some effort, to get myself back to where I can settle into it. Like starting to do yoga again - the first 3-4 times is awful as your body/mind reminds you how out-of-shape it is..

So tell me, emf-ers, what do you do to hold the space - keep in top mental form? Please don't tell me to play solitaire online and do crossword puzzles!!! to keep my mind fit. Is it throwing yourself into meaningful work, volunteering, vitamins, vipassana, vacations to third world countries?

Speaking for myself, my spirituality has been important to me all my life. I went in with a set of beliefs and understandings, and I needed to go back to where I was - regarding those things. I think people want more in their lives and spirituality is a way to live and to fill that void with something more meaningful. I used to anchor myself in physical things as a place to start. I never did give credit for my 'good stuff' to RSE, so I did not have to reclaim that. For me, I still am on my path, and RSE was an experience on it. I put it in place in a line with other experiences I have had in my life, and give it no greater importance than any other experience. What I treasured, I still treasure in myself. Going forward with that for me has been the strength in who I am. I realized that they are the problem... not me.

For a while I drank (for a few months), though carefully, as there is alcoholism in my family. I realized I was making an association between good feelings I was having, with alcohol, and that scared me, so I no longer did any kind of drinking until I totally knew I could have good feelings without the association of alcohol. I needed to break that association/trigger. I could see the path going down into alcoholism.

As I see it, triggers are a part of our society, from wedding bands to remembering music from a romantic encounter. For me it is about choice. Do I let myself become bitter about a romance/marriage that was bad? The same kind of thing occurs also, when children leave home, or a spouse leaves. Everytime you go into the store, you are thinking, "they would like that" or you are buying something out of habit for them. Things take space up in our lives, and just like when someone dies or leaves, it takes time to make a new life without them. Everything reminds you of them.

When somebody dies, it feels like a part of you is dead with them. Maybe in part it is true, but you are here, and they are not, and you need to go forward anyway. Its a bit like surviving a catastrophe, all the trauma, feeling guilty for being ok when others are not, being vulnerable.

Other than ourselves, what do we really own in this life? I think our selves are the greatest treasure we ever have.

Great Idea AGAPE-

I am exited to learn from all the successes of my brothers and sisters on EMF- It is wonderful to have a support system.

My contribution at this point, I think most know already- Derren Brown videos- simply show me that it could happen to anyone- and to be alert and aware.

And baths in epsom salts. Epsom salt is cheap, easily available in grocery stores and is known to detoxify the body- so I just tell it to go ahead and detoxify my mind as well!

DN said, "Epsom salt is cheap, easily available in grocery stores and is known to detoxify the body- so I just tell it to go ahead and detoxify my mind as well! "

HAHAHAHAH.....I like your sense of humor !

For me I found that I stopped believing in everything that I have believed in, in the last 40 years - I got myself to a clean slate - it was difficult but I have my anchor in nature and the things I love to do - the passions in my life that have nothing to do with spirituality - I am like a baby, taking baby steps and I like my life now - no more fear - no more of what I am suppose to be doing - suppose to be believing - I listen to myself and try not to judge anything nor anyone - and I like that as it brings peace into my life. As a child I loved the ocean, art and children so they are now becoming more and more a big part of my life - I do not read anything and will not join any groups at all - I believe I am really listening to who I am and not the beliefs I acquired along the way - I am back to where I was before reading all those spiritual books - those were the HOOKs that got me totally involved in RSE as I would say to myself - "I know that - my knowing tells me that is the truth" but after leaving the school after my first event, I questioned myself as to whose truth is it really? Why did I gravitate to those beliefs in the first place - and from there I started to answer my own questions -

I believe I am here to live on this earth and experience every earth experience - I know there is something more than what we see but now unless I see it with my own eyes and experience it myself then I WILL NOT believe what anyone else tells me - if somethings work for me, then I go with it - My life is the best it has ever been in my entire life - no expectations, no being someone special, just someone having a human experience with love and compassion and helping others when I can - I think it is very simple -

I love my life now - four months ago I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown with all this stuff and listening to those **** Ramtha tapes solidly for a year. I found emptying myself was the way for me to do it and I did exactly that - to not be afraid to let go of every single belief I had and I tell you ti was really really difficult and I stayed with it - and now I find that fear has also left my life - and I know my path is looking positive and beautiful.

Sometimes I don't do anything all day and I don't beat myself up for it - I enjoy my days and I enjoy my job, though I didn't always - I see things in a different way now and I know that everything that I do in my life is the right thing to do - at first it was really difficult but as each day would go by, it became easier and easier - I also love who I am and am really accepting of who I am and because of that I am accepting of others - I don't have a great deal of money but everything is fine right now - I am learning I think to really love myself and allow myself to do what I want, not what someone tells me I need to do.

To me my life feels clean, that is how I explain it - after the RSE 6 days beginners event I felt dirty - that when I arrived home, I scrubbed the kitchen floor till it shined - for me cleaning is a way of cleaning my soul - it worked as about a few weeks later I decided to leave the school - I felt scared about doing it as I had met some really great people at the event and leaving meant that I was a failure but I didn't care as I had to get back to feeling the peace again in my life, which I hadn't felt in a while. I wrote to the people I had made friends with and told them I was leaving the school - only one emailed me back saying she too had her own red flags and we have kept in touch - and then a few months later, my partner at the event also left -

This site is also an anchor of great support and it is good that it is here for us all to share and support each other - Thank you to all of you for your wonderful stories and laughs too. Some nights I have laughed so hard I cried - the laughter really makes it all well again. So here's hoping we all get back to who we really are meant to be and that we have the support from each other to do that - because that is what love really is.

a zen saying which inspired me it descrips the way to enlightment:at the start the mountains are mountains.then the mountains arnt mountains anymore.then at the end the mountains r mountains again.for me it means first we start see the realaty and question it.then we get all kind of teachings.which we not realy can confirm.and after this confusion we realize live itself is the miracle all along.

Interesting thread Agape. I too found it hard to find my life again after only two years at RSE. Nothing seemed to hold my attention or interest for years and years. However, when I "asked" in great sincerity of my own souls wisdom or whatever you call IT, I was willing to do anything to find my 'Divine connection' again. Returning to RSE came into my awareness and it felt like a choice for me.....would I be willing to return to RSE?? Intense nausea overcame me and I found I was not willing to do anything or go anywhere if it did not FEEL RIGHT to me.

I am still in the "Silence of being" as I call it. No disciplines, no creed, no religious or mental duties or obligations to FIND it. I feel soooo free and so open and yes, much more alive. Like many suggested,,,nature, the beach, friends, whatever is enjoyable to me is what nourishes me now. I live from my heart of love....

I rememeber the story of Siddartha,,,,,who searched for Enlightenment and when he found it, chose a life of being the person who ferried people across the river,,,( as I recall it) and he then just enjoyed Life and BEING and searched no longer. The life long search brought him back to himself...and peaceful contentment.

I really enjoyed reading about ex's mountains and Bluebird's Siddhartha - it is the same story. Arduous effort in order to return to the same place but changed.

Reminds me of the scene in the Matrix movie where Neo is in the train station alone. He runs down the track but it circles around to bring him back where he began.

I have been reading this thread with interest, it's great to see so many of you finding the real joy in life - living. As most of you know my partner is a follower of the school for 20 years and I would love dearly for him to see that the real miracle is life itself. I have never followed or believed in a path outside myself and am so full of happiness and always have been. It gives me hope that some of you have also been able to realise this.

If it matters, I like what I just saw in "The Pirates of The Caribbean At Worlds End" movie.

I suggest one spends full price and listen for the secrets presented in between the special effects and fluff.

Lots of stuff there to glean if one listened and connected what was taught by the Random Access Memory.

A slight warning though

It might not make you feel good.

"It might not make you feel good."

Very funny, Wolfman.
I don't automatically follow what feels good because doing that landed me in a few places I didn't want to be. I'll check the movie out and thanks for the tip...

So the cumulative wisdom of Point Forward appears to be that graduation of said school (soon to be publicly held corporation) is that experiences gained during, but most importantly THEREAFTER.. do NOT allow 'business as usual' regarding spiritual seeking.. using this thread specifically and this message board overall, people speak to the fact that they CANNOT suspend disbelief in ANY thing, any one, any auto-suggestion that happens to float by their plane of consciousness...

This is truly remarkable - in terms of spiritual Path stuff. So, realization of cult involvement effectively creates what many cannot do on their own these days: STOP SEEKING. Seeking has indeed become the addiction of our days.. so to STOP doing it.. well, that just could be the beginning of the end to Spiritual Path, Inc. the latest form of materialism, circus shows and other NLP related snake oil available.... omg.

.. do you realise that alumnus status of R(oh)SE International, Inc., felt the fear, betrayal, hopelessness of the DTC, dis-connected with God (and then re-connected, albeit, on your own) and imprinted your brain with all sorts of mindless 'truisms' left the 'garden' (due to the thorns), you permanently became a NON-SEEKER. This could compare to the pearl beyond price - you finally get yourself back, once and for all.

no more gimmicks, expensive seminars, transformation come-ons, no more, never again. Even if it does involve a type of 'hangover' - period of dazed re-orientation piecing back the pieces.

In the minds of some, to no longer seek, is enlightenment. to just be. in the moment. just glad to be there. ready. available to Life.

it was some existential guy that said something about suffering being the source of consciousness.. but he failed to mention it was the springboard to enlightenment, defined in this manner.. Who would have ever thought that GIVING UP an imaginary teacher, and a whole catillon of beliefs could give you what you wanted in the first place?

Has anyone considered this before? again it seems, out of enormous darkness, light is able to shine..once again.

This thread has been amazingly healing for me.
I am contemplating ex's the mountain, the Matrix, and if I get daring, will see Pirates of the Carrirbeam.
I am still in the dazed phase.
Reading definitely is out (this forum
not included, but you know what I mean ).
Nature is in.
Just being is in and makes me very content.
RE-locating is under way in the next month
and a half, so I am just being present with that because if I look to far in front
of me, it can be overwhelming at times.
You all write so eloquently on this subject. Thank you from the bottom of
my heart.
Tree

"just being is in"

Oh, yeah. When one realizes how horribly one has been taken advantage of, "just being" is all that is left...