Hi, my name is JZ Knight---and I have a confession to make. Over the last thirty years I've swindled tens of millions of dollars from the pockets of my followers, without ever being exactly honest with them.

You see, I've never channeled Ramtha, the 30,000 year old ascended master from Atlantis. It's all been a complete lie. Thousands of people all around the world have drastically altered their lives, ditched their husbands, abandon their families, just so they could attend my Sophist training academy in Yelm, WA

And what did I give them in return? I gave them lies, unbelievable, outrageous lies that only a five year old child would believe. I told them that the world was going to be deluged in flood, fire and earthquakes, and that they, my cherished followers, would survive the environmental dooms day. What total nincompoops.

Again, I'm really, really sorry. It's just that, it was so easy. Sometimes, when I think of all the sacrifices that my followers made, I want to hurt myself. I want to grab my neck and squeeze as hard as I can. Sometimes I want to strangle my followers, but mostly it's myself. If my followers weren't such stupid idiots, I would have confessed long, long ago; but they're such fools, it was like taking money from inebriated sailors on weekend furlough.

The truth of the matter is, I've been channeling an auto mechanic for the last thirty years---not an ascended master. It physically hurts to say that, but it's true. He is the true Ramtha. His name is Ned Bumpkin and he's a grease monkey. In 1977 he died at a tractor pulling contest, when one of the chains snapped and hit him in the skull. On the same night, in 1977, I was screwing around with a ouji board, completely stoned out of my mind, when I made contact with the disembodied spirit of Ned Bumpkin. He asked me,

"Got any beer? I'd sure like some, if you got any. Gosh, I could use a beer."

It's too late for an apology, honey. Having just learned how to see through your talk, you won't be fooling me this time.

Nowadays apologies are nothing more than politically correct.

Show me the money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Mathew,

I always did like your sense of humor. Nice to see you've stopped by to say hello.

Hey Mathew,

LMAO!!

That just happened to be my Uncle Ned..... If the apology is indeed coming from her which channels him then perhaps she will (and should) be able to ask uncle Ned what his favorite brand of beer was????

I've been reading through all the threads on this site and this is simply the funniest - funny because the dead mechanic makes about as much sense as the dead warrier. It just goes to show that all of our faith in our human intelligence is misplaced when we can believe in the nuttiness of channelling.