The passengers continued to relax in their various ways. Some were even sleeping - and a few others pretended to be when they saw Reg heading their way. However, it soon became very difficult to sleep, or even to relax. Without exception they became aware of an increase in the volume of the whistling, windy noises from outside. The turbulence increased to alarming levels. So much so, indeed, that DLM decided to forgo his constitutional rights and fasten that seatbelt, after all - when he thought no-one was looking. After all, he rationalised, this whole experience was becoming something akin to a ‘cruel and unusual punishment’, which he had the constitutional right - nay, duty - to protect himself against.

The noise and the turbulence worsened. They could hear the bodywork of the bus creaking, and a few passengers seated by the windows could actually see the metal by their arms begin to ripple. The number ‘1999’ loomed up in the front window, and they could see the driver gripping the wheel as hard as he could as he fought to keep the bus under some sort of control. Conversation became impossible, both as a result of the incredible level of volume of the wind outside and because of the sheer, naked fear that the passengers were experiencing. Reg was still standing, but now had his back to them as he gripped a rail in front of him, tightly, and with both hands, as he stared straight into the face of the new decade that waited menacingly to greet them.

As usual, the new year soon filled the front window. However, this time, as they burst through it, it was to a huge crack of thunder rather than the usual ‘whoosh!’ There wasn’t a person amongst them who wasn’t now scared out of their wits and - if truth be told - regretting ever signing up on the trip in the first place, as the bus continued to career crazily through time, while history howled outside the windows and threatened to break right through them.

Yet, once they had passed through ‘1999’, things became calmer again. They exchanged nervous glances with each other. Some smiled. Perhaps it would all prove to be worth it … in the end. Perhaps.

… 1998 … 1997 … 1996 …

They went back to relaxing, in their chosen ways. The American ladies all decided to read. Each pulled out a book, and quickly became engrossed in it. After reading for a while, they all began to react in rather strange ways. Toni’s glasses began to steam up. Laurie put a hand over her mouth, in shock. Robin was blushing.

Lynn: Oh my!

Reg thought he knew what was going on here. He thought he would investigate a little bit more, just to be sure. Casually ambling to the back of the bus, he decided to see what Sue was reading … yes, just as he thought. And Jane? Reg glanced across, over the sleeping Eric. Yes … Jane as well. Tut tut.

But Jane had seen him looking.

Jane: Oh Reg - please don’t tell Eric when he wakes up. I’m only reading a few pages at a time.

Reg: That’s all right Jane, your secret is safe with me.

Not that it was really much of a secret. In fact, all six women on the bus were reading the very same book. What was it that was so fascinating about ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’?

… 1995 … 1994 … 1993 …

As Reg carried on walking back down to the front of the bus, he happened to stop by Ignaz, who was also reading.

Reg: What’s that you’re reading there, Ignaz?

Ignaz: Hi Reg. It’s a book called ‘The Last Days Of Eva Braun’.

Reg: Oh yes? What happened, then?

Ignaz is keen to tell the tale.

Ignaz: Well, there she was. April 1945. Hitler’s long-time mistress. The two of them - as well as many other top Nazis - all living in a bunker in Berlin. They knew the war was lost, and that the advancing Russians were only a few hundred kilometres away. They knew their fate was sealed.

Reg: Really? So what did they do?

Ignaz: Well, on April the 28th Eva and Hitler - the most evil man in the world - got married. The witnesses were - wait for it - Josef Goebbels and Martin Bormann. Then, the next day, Hitler tested a cyanide pill out on their beloved dog, Blondi - which died. Then the day after that, after being married less than 48 hours, they went into a room and she killed herself with a cyanide pill while he shot himself in the head. Their bodies were then taken outside, soaked in petrol, and then burned - to try and prevent the Russians from identifying them. What do you think of all that, Reg?

Reg doesn’t really know what to say.

Reg: Interesting …

So, true to form, he says the wrong thing.

Reg: … and they say that blondes have more fun!

He gives Ignaz a nod, and moves on - as Ignaz watches him go in disbelief.

…1992 … 1991 … 1990 …

Hmmmm......Better get the book and start reading.......Reg may quiz us on it.

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Are you sure I wasn't reading Romney's tax returns, Reg? Or re-reading Obama's The Audacity of Hope? Or even the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution?

To be honest, I haven't made it past chapter 4 of Fifty Shades. He was controlling, she was a doormat, it all worked out sexually, and sales of natural fiber rope have gone through the roof. They need a whole trilogy for that???

Oh okay,never mind... in the interest of the bus ride and conversation (and a good explanation for the foggy glasses) I'll head on to Chapter 5.

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Was a bit worried that the year 1999 gub would crash the universe and drag us down into a black hole of nothingness, but like with the year 2000 bug when we went in opposite direction 12 years ago, nothing happened. Of course, since it's the same one..

Soon in the year of the Free Bird

Reg, finally I got you:-) They married on April 29th, not 28th. And, by the way, the most detestable man in world history was not German, but Austrian. At least he was born there.

Dear Reg, I googled the title of the book as I had never heard of it. I rarely read anything later than the Nineteenth Century. I wonder if there is anything in here I can use. Hmmmmm.

Reg, Reg, Reg. I mean, really. Somehow, I highly doubt our buddy Ignaz was reading about the wedding and suicides of Hitler and Eva Braun, or anything else about Nazi Germany, when out for a lark on the MHT bus. Tsk, tsk. No more than *you* were likely recently engrossed in a book about the bloody "misadventures" of the British Empire in India and elsewhere, or of the English in Scotland or Ireland, I should think-- as my quarter-Danish side helpfuly feels compelled to point out. :-) Who knows what world wars might have been fought over those scenarios, had the balance of power been different in the world, after all?? Ahem. But as it happens, I actually WAS reading about the very subjects you attributed to Iggi's perusal, and just yesterday morning, in the wee hours, in fact-- albeit scarcely for the first time. Still, I hadn't known that Crazy Eva got married in a navy dress with sequins, and killed herself in a black dress trimmed with a red rose design. Goody for her...not. Let's just say I felt truly sorry for the fate of the dog, Blondi. The ENTIRE fate, having to be the hound of Hitler, not just the fatal cyanide test. 'Twas all in the book *Endgame, 1945* by David Stafford of the University of Edinburgh (Little, Brown, & Co., 2007), which I recently obtained for info it contains about a certain personage I'm researching-- NEITHER the aforementioned bride nor groom, however, cringe. I already know WAY more than I ever care to about THEM. As for your joke about blonds having more fun, in that context, whether about the poor dog or the stereotypic "Aryan" or whatever: boo, hiss. Better luck next chapter!

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According to the Stafford book I just cited in my last post, the native Austrian "Schicklgrubr" dictated his last will and testament at 11:30pm on April 28th. Soon afterwards, apparently on the 29th, he married the ditzy Deutsche, Eva Braun. Some "wedding night" they must have had, knowing they would both soon be dead! Too bad for them. To salvage a familiar and previously misused quote: Sic semper tyrannis!!! Some theories hold Adolf didn't kill himself but was actually "helped" to his death by some of his own SS men at the last. Oh, I do hope so!

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Robin, I love 19th century lit also, but I wouldn't want to have lived without having read Agatha Christie, Carolyn Keene, P.G. Wodehouse, and scads of others! ;-) Somehow you've missed the massive media blitz about *Fifty Shades...* and sequels, and the ubiquitous and enthusiastic displays of them in stores. It seems to be the biggest thing since JK Rowling!

Quote: Robin

Dear Reg, I googled the title of the book as I had never heard of it. I rarely read anything later than the Nineteenth Century. I wonder if there is anything in here I can use. Hmmmmm.

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Hi Laurie, oh yes, i adore Agatha Christie, Carolyn Keene, P.G. Wodehouse, and many of the 20th Century American mystery writers, especially Ross McDonald. I also love those Lord Peter books. But still... I have read relatively little contemporary fiction.

The thing I love about the Kindle is all the fabulous stuff from 15th, 16th and 17th Century authors writing about ancient authors. You just don't get that in the average bookstore or local public library.

Yes, I definitely missed the Fifty Shades stuff. I never pay any attention to advertisements or commercials or media blitz's. I am totally out of the loop. I live in my own little world and although I am a boring conversationalist, I do find my own mind a fascinating place to be. LOL.

EDIT: Come to think of it, I have, of course, read a great deal of non-fiction from the 20th Century, mostly about art, history, philosophy and politics. And I love 20th Century plays, especially Tennessee Williams .... I guess I have read more post 19th Century stuff than I realized.

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Dear me, I couldn't live without murder mysteries, especially British! Give me a title like *Death in a Teapot*, *The Corpse Sang 'Rule Britannia'*, *Murder by Welsh*, or *The Widdnes Strangler*, and I'm a happy girl! :-)

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OMG--Borje

I have a bad feeling about this. Yikes!

Hey, is it just me or has anyone else noticed that their waistline is shrinking as we're going back through the years?

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Hah hah! You know, I still have those Woodstock trousers tucked away...maybe Alvin would be willing to part with them if they actually fit anyone.

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i start my slimming today..

Tee hee and a half! I was soooo skinny back then, sigh. What one calls model-thin. My figure has long since become a bit more matronly, and though I guess I shouldn't complain, the young girl that's still inside me doesn't like it one bit. She's decided I wanna be ultra-thin again for old times' sake. Looks like it's carrot cutlets and a trip to the gym for me! ;-)

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