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And so the mysterious, hooded driver starts up the bus.
Tony: At last we’re getting going.
Les: Remember Tony … what happens on the road, stays on the road.
Tony: Well, that’s been the problem so far, hasn’t it? Two weeks, and fourteen of his ruddy ‘chapters’ … and nothing has happened yet.
Les: OK … granted. But you’ve had a couple of laughs, haven’t you?
Tony: That’s what I’m getting at. 103 jokes …and just a couple of laughs. I’m telling you mate, old Reg wouldn’t last long on the stage of a workingman’s club in Burnley …
Ian: Lads - we’re moving! We’re on our way!
Reg must now describe the situation in - and on - the bus. All of the passengers, apart from DLM, are now wearing their seatbelts. DLM has exerted his constitutional rights under the ‘freedom of expression’ clause of the first amendment to the Constitution, to express himself by not wearing his. He insists that it’s what the Founding Fathers would have wanted, and challenges Reg to find anything in the Constitution - or the Declaration of Independence - that says otherwise. Reg has had to concede that the Founding Fathers had remained surprisingly silent about the issue of health and safety etiquette on motorised passenger transport. For that matter, they hadn't mentioned DLM, either. On glancing through the Constitution, Reg also noticed that they had also bizarrely omitted to say anything about the entirely normal activity of two people of the same sex getting married to each other. (Frankly, with all these strange omissions, Reg even began to wonder if the fifty five Founding Fathers had really been up to the job in the first place. Perhaps there should have been a ‘Constitutional Idol’ selection process to whittle them down to the best half dozen or so. Fifty five Founding Fathers was way too many. Surely some of them must have been a bit rubbish. Perhaps they were just showing off with the alliteration. However, he felt it wiser to keep his misgivings silent. After all, the Americans might get angry at such a slur … and move on to expressing their second amendment rights, as well. Reg didn‘t really fancy that). Anyway - he didn’t really want to upset DLM about the seatbelt thing, as his video-embedding skills were going to be needed a bit later on in the journey.
And what was this journey going to be like? Well, although they were on a bus, the passengers realised that they were not travelling on a road. Or on rail. Or flying. They were just conscious of … travelling. Of movement. Rapid movement. Outside was completely black. There were occasional faint, whistling, windy noises from outside. The bus bobbed about a little bit - but nothing to be alarmed about. Just like very light turbulence on a plane. Some passengers could sense a bit of pressure on the outside of the bus. But overall, they had never experienced a travelling sensation like this before, and it could not be easily described.
Then - after only two or three minutes - they became conscious of something white straight ahead of them, and moving towards the windscreen. It became bigger and bigger. All watched, fascinated. Riveted. Jane moved a little closer to Eric, then closer still. The whiteness came closer, then formed into shapes. No, not just shapes - numbers. They were numbers. The whole bus was silent. And then the number ‘2011’ was framed in the windscreen for a split second … before they passed through it with an almighty ‘whoosh! They all turned to see it disappear rapidly from view behind them, the number reversed and inverted, as it travelled into the future and as they continued their journey into the past.
Reg: Hey … everyone.
They all turned to face the front again.
We’re now in 2011! That didn’t take long. The way it works is this. As we approach each year it will take a little longer on each occasion. It will also get progressively more windy and noisy outside, and you may become aware of more and more pressure on the outside of the bus. The mild turbulence you may have already noticed will become more pronounced. Frankly, I’ve got to warn you, as we approach the ‘70s, then the ‘60s … it’s going to get noisy. And rough. You’re going to be glad of those seatbelts, eventually. But that’s not for a while yet. Let’s just relax … for as long as we can.
The enormity of the adventure on which they had embarked begins to hit home. There is some subtle tightening of those seatbelts.
Toni tries to relieve the tension a little. Turning to her left, she calls out over her shoulder:
Toni: Don’t worry guys. I’ve been to the drugstore and brought some Meclizine!
All Americans: Good call … way to go … you go, girl … that’s what we need … etc.
Reg is concerned. What is it about these Americans and their drugs? He goes over to his left to have a quiet word with Toni. She reassures him:
Toni: Oh, don’t worry Reg. It’s just medication for travel sickness. I thought I’d better bring it along. Doesn’t make me a fan of Big Pharma though!
Reg smiles wanly, then turns to his right, to talk quietly with the three Englishmen.
Les: What was all that about, Reg?
Reg: (baffled) No idea, mate. Something about not liking big farmers.
Tony: Big farmers? Are American farmers particularly big, then?
Ian: Well, everybody else over there is. We’ve all seen those ‘supersize me’ documentaries. Obesity epidemic, and all that. Why should farmers be any different?
Les: You’re right, mate. I think anorexics are a bit thin on the ground over there …
Reg: Well, they’re a bit thin everywhere, aren’t they? I mean … that’s the whole point …
Ian: Maybe it was ‘pig farmer’?
Tony: No, I’ve got it. Toni said she isn’t a fan of that ‘pig, Farner’!
And the four of them agreed that that must have been it. Probably. Possibly.
More whiteness approaches the front window, until it momentarily fills the screen. It is no surprise that it is the number ‘2010’. Even so, most - but not all - feel some trepidation as they turn to watch it disappear from view.
Dave: Well, that wasn’t much different to ‘2011’. I think old Reg is probably exaggerating what it’s going to be like.
Don: Yeah, probably ...
But he wasn’t. No. He wasn't exaggerating at all ...
Good start,
this is my first time traveller trip < backwards.
TFF
Peace,
DLM
"...But he wasn’t. No. He wasn't exaggerating at all ..."
Oooooh, Here we go! Scary exciting!
Jane feel like she is in her early fifty's now
Well done Reg
Wonderful Reg! Hey busdriver - could you slow down a bit when we reach August 1969? I have a camera with me and thought I'd catch a certain performance at Woodstock..
PS, yes I know we're in England, but I'm going there and home again using a very fast helicopter ..
LOL! With nary a "Tee-hee" in sight! ;-) Brilliant, Regmeister!! I truly enjoyed this installment. Although, whew! For a moment there, I thought we were all gonna see my rather troublesome and veddy distant cousin, the Wicked Witch of the West, flying by the bus windows on her fearsome besom, her usual somewhat edgy and ever so slightly unnerving cackle rising from her scrawny bosom, before we crash-landed via cyclone near the famous yellow-brick road in the wild & wacky Land of Ozzy. In which case: yikes!! One must admit, "Wizard" is stretching things just a wee mite, heh. But then, my home away from the Big Apple, Des Moines, Iowa, is where the Ozzmeister famously bit the head off a bat onstage and had to go have a tetanus shot-- I mean, "jab"-- at a nearby hospital afterwards. Poor thing! The bat, I mean. "If you were REALLY a wizard, you could bend your mind withOUT booze, and keep yourself from getting lockjaw with MAGIC!" quoth the Good Witch of the Midwest, card-carrying descendant (on her mom's mom's dad's side) of FF Pres. James Monroe. And don't even THINK about the second amendment re the Amis on this bus. MOST of us still are giving peace a chance, I'd be willing to bet! :-)
There's an idea. If we could have a brief rest stop in 1974, there's a young lady ....... if I'd known then, what I know now ......
That's genius, B! :-) Groovy idea, dude! Far out, man! Ah, the nostalgia of it all. Alvin's delicious speaking voice and accent managed to make even the word "helicopter" (as in "... 'I'm Going Home' by..." sound sexy!! :-)
Don't worry, Robin. I'll be happy to make sure your seat restraints are well-fastened any time Alvin is nearby! Evil grin. What are friends for, after all?? :-)
Same here. I quietly sneaked off to Dublin for a few days and returned to relish the latest episodes. You're creating something quite unique here Reg.
Thankyou Toni and Les. However, so far this is all forepl ... er, for starters. The main course is yet to come.
Two more chapters, later today.
Oh, there you go, Reg, trying to get Robin all riled up again! Tsky tsky tasket. ;-) But in all seriousness, my compliments on your latest chapters, and on the Magical Hystery Tour concept and rendering overall. I've heard of various Neo-Pagan groups on the Web, such as so-called "cyber-covens", that engage in guided imagery for spiritual or meditative reasons, as well as interactive rituals, storytelling, role-playing, and other activities that most Pagan groups would do in person. But this is obviously different in significant respects. Not that some of us don't view Alvin as a god, or behave as if we do, heh. But all things considered, the MHT really does seem to be a vibrantly unique cyber-entity. And it's been (mostly) fun. ;-) Keep up the good work, Reg! :-)
Robin, I've always found "Hold Me Tight" to be one of Alvin's steamiest. "All Shook Up" is gentler in tone, but absolutely bone-melting. Yow! Think I'd better stop there for now! ;-)
Thanks Laurie, I will check them out. Another of my favorites is "If you should love me" -- although that song makes me feel 15 years old.
...
Uh-oh, Robin, you and me both, re that particular song!! Also, I meant to mention, in case you didn't realize, that "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" is an old blues song and wasn't written by Alvin, but Sonny Boy Williamson... but Alvin makes it so much his own by what he changes, adds, and otherwise does to it, that he may as well have written it, as far as I'm concerned! Another total Alvin scorcher, for sure!! :-)
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Hi Laurie, yeah, i looked up old Sonny Boy on youtube and although he is good, he is no Alvin Lee. Another cover Alvin does that is hypnotic/erotic is "Spoonful". His version is wicked.
Hey Laurie, Just listened to "Hold Me Tight" and yes, you are so right. That young Alvin is just too sexy for words. I feel ridiculous responding to that baby boy at my age.
Thank you for that, Laurie. For a minute there I felt like a cradle robbing perv, but you made me feel good again about being a normal, healthy, red-blooded woman.
I was just about to invite Alvin to come rock this mama, but then I remembered that he is already taken.
"Rock Your Mama"! Another hot song! Yes, Alvin is "taken". On the one hand, I have every respect for that fact specifically. On the other hand, I've always believed in general that all's fair in love and-- uh, sorry, how uncool of me. Chalk it up to my general irreverence, but I think I'd better stick with the former sentiment!!
Yikes!
I was hoping to edit out my comment about "inviting" Alvin so it would not be taken the wrong way, but I see it is already memorialized in your quote.
Yes, I agree it is best to stick with your former statement. While all is fair in love and war, Karma is a b*tch.
Up late doin' stuff, so thought I'd peek in here again before I crash. And uh-oh, Robin, sorry for memorializing the comment you wanted to edit out! Oops! I don't know what possessed me to write what I wrote, either. Midnight madness, probably. We're as giddy as a couple of schoolgirls! Heh heh. I'd say we're relatively harmless, though. Aren't we? :-) Besides, if Alvin doesn't want to have any effect on women, he should no longer record or perform in public, say I! Brilliant logic, huh. ;-) As to the subject of karma, since you raised it, and meaning this only theoretically as a point of interest: I don't think karma's at all simple in matters of love and passion. For example, I don't believe one person ever "owns" another, so I don't think a person can be "stolen". Not really. Now, I'm all in favor of committed relationships, but we all know that ultimately the heart goes where it will. If someone does lose a lover or spouse to another person, who's to say *that's* not karma?? But... enough of this gay banter. Off to beddy-bye! :-)
