Laurie, since Toni deleted my post to you in which I stated that I will never again explain myself, defend myself, or justify myself to you, I am not going to hold myself to that statement.

Regarding your above comments -- I merely complimented Ronnie, in my often overly exuberant way, for the very sweet message of support he sent to you. You chose to interpret it as my vying for his attention. The thought never entered my mind, and the fact that you felt the need to call me out for something that was in your own imagination tells me that you and I are on completely different wavelengths.

I respectfully conclude that since you interpret most of my posts in ways that have nothing to do with who I am as a person, I am no longer going to respond to any of your messages to me. I will give you the same respect by refraining from commenting on your posts, or commenting on the posts of other board members when they are communicating with you. Peace

Robin, you can reply or not as you like, but I didn't realize there was a post from you that Toni deleted-- apparently she removed it before I had a chance to see it. Since she rarely deletes anything, that really makes me wonder about its contents! My initial reaction to your comment about picking fights for make-up sex, as you responded to my confiding about having been the victim of physical assault, was about *me*, not you. I didn't "choose" to interpret anything about you or what you wrote in a negative light. There was no malice aforethought, or any malice at all-- it was a quick, honest reaction of simple hurt feelings. I was put off and actually a bit stunned by what struck me as real insensitivity on your part at the time. It's my nature to be forthright in sorting something out-- it's my Danish from my Great-Grandpa Laurids-- and so I was. I'm not one for never straying beyond easy, comfy-cozy chit-chat, I admit. Yet after all this, even after *I* apologized to *you* for being so direct with you in front of the board by posting my hurt feelings when I was in an already frazzled, sleep-deprived state, you *still* apparently don't care to see the incident in light of that, my injury, and the vulnerable PTSD space you might have realized I was coming from as I wrote. You might have said you were sorry about the assaults or my injuries, and never did. You still haven't. You've also done a complete, sudden reversal on me by withdrawing your previous praise of my understanding of you and communicating with you. OK, fine. I guess I don't really wanna play dollies with you any more either. The thing is, alot of why I suggested a truce and do-over was for the sake of the rest of the board. They can read these specific posts or not as they choose, depending on their stomach for conflict resolution, but over an extended period of time, seeing our respective posts ignoring each other on an ongoing basis, it's going to be very noticeable and uncomfortable for them knowing there's a frigid, rigid distance between us. I can't understand wanting to maintain such a hard, stony barrier, myself. Life is short and people are human. I'm also thinking about Alvin, whose board this is. He's not a mincer of words, either, but he's a real believer in peace as an ideal and goal. If there's anything I'm aware Alvin can't stand, it's a fuss or a senseless squabble. So pardon my native directness again, but what's the point of wishing me "Peace" at the end of your current post if you're not willing to engage in it or work toward it with me? Peace takes real effort. You know that. I'm trying to make it. I hope sooner or later you will too.