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margit
IP: 88.22.216.113
May 28, 07 - 1:50 AM |
anima animus dancing in battle?
Hi, I don't know if this is the appropiate forum to post this but I will give it a try.
I have always been very interested in the Jungian approach but feel not very supported here in Spain as in the province where I live I cannot find any likewise oriented. My spiritual practice is basically tibetan Buddhism and I am in close contact with several teachers.However; I always get the feeling that Jung is very complementary and there are recurrent emotional hang ups where I just cannot get thru with my sitting practice and it is as if I repeat a recurrent pattern there.
The problem is that in a formal relationship with a man, I always attract immature men who have a lot of difficulty with committing.I have been reading on the anima ,animus issue at your website and read the ravaged bridegroom by marion Woodman.also some books by shierse leonard.
However,it seems as if I am just helplessly blocked there. My boyfriend accuses me of being overpossessive,controlling,wanting all the freedom for me and not willing to give freedom to him.He feels suffocated and is always threatening me with escaping.
I feel very anxious as a consequence and my fear of abandonment gets unbearably intense.I feel trapped in my own hangup,confused because i cannot see if he is right or is just manipulating me into submission as my ex husband did.I get the feeling that he has a strong mother complex.I feel emotionally dependent at times and when I start to work on my independence and creativity(writing),or other projects I feel he doesn't back me up.Recently,I discovered that I also have a problem with committing and feel(always have)attracted to adolescents.In fact after divorcing I had some affairs with very young rebellious man.My boyfriend is 38,I am 46 and we have been together for 4 years.But I cannot figure out how to work and heal my animus.Maybe you can give me some advice and some good books to read on that issue.I don't know how to work on the relationship issue and get the feelin that he is overpowering me,but he says he gets the same feeling that I am overpowering him.I appreciate some help.thanks a lot Margit.P.S Iposted also some dreams.
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Gerard
IP: 68.52.89.165
May 29th, 2007 - 5:09 AM |
Re: anima animus dancing in battle?
margit,
Jung used Buddhism as part of his search for spiritual truth. Many of his concepts are based on the psychology of Buddhism {Buddhism isn't a religion, it is a psychology of discipline and awareness}. It is only natural that you are attracted to Jung.
As for your problem with attracting immature men who have difficulty with committing. I suggest you look at the underlying causation to this trait you possess. And the first place to begin is in your childhood. I have know several people {and mostly women} who have had the same problem. From those experiences, and my learned knowledge from studying Jung, it was a need to fulfill some childhood void that was the underpinnings of their actions as adults. One bad relationship after another. Often the problem laid in their desire to 'mother' the men in their relationships, which was a product of unresolved childhood experiences. Look at that aspect in your life and see where it leads. You may discover truths that you were unaware of and that unconsciously control your actions as an adult.
I suggest you spend more time with Marion Woodman. She is a wonderful resource for women to help realize the inner soul. Her audio cassette Dreams: Language of the Soul is one of the most revealing and inspiring tools of knowledge I have ever come across. That says a lot for a being a man.
As for the relationship with your 'younger man' {no judgements here. Men do it all the time, take younger women and society says it is OK. What is good for the goose is also perfectly fine for the gander}. What you need to focus on is your own inner self. Until those inner conflicts are resolved there will be outer conflicts as a result. I lived that life for too many years and it wasn't until I resolve the inner was I able to balance the outer. And most of my problems stemmed from childhood and a non-relationship with a uncaring father.
I hope you will continue to use the pages at MDS in your search. There is not much that is original to many of the pages, only the concepts and insights of greater minds than my own. But what they have to offer resonates with the soul. There are answers, perhaps not apparent at first, that will enable you to recognize those underlying reasons as to why you act as you do, as to who you truly are within. There is a death and resurrection involved and it is letting go of the old self and discovering the true Self within. It is not easy, can be very long, and is always full of obstacles to overcome. But the rewards are there, it is merely a matter of time, and discipline.
And you are welcome, and encouraged to continue to post your dreams and thoughts at the two forums. There are many caring people who visit regularly who may be able to offer insights to how to travel your path. By staying the path of self discovery you are indeed participating in the 'hero's journey'. It is both dangerous and exciting, painful and rewarding, but more than anything it is required.
Gerard  
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margit
IP: 81.32.80.209
May 31st, 2007 - 12:40 AM |
Re: anima animus dancing in battle?
thanks for answering.I'll reflect on your words. Yes I will continue to post.I like this site
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